i feel like julie is leading me into insanity
i really do
she’s my sister, i care about her so much but she really doesn’t care about me at all
if she was feeling miserable and told me i was causing her so much pain throughout the years, i would feel so bad
all i ever do is adjust my life and EVERYTHING to make her happy and to fit her schedule, even if it causes me to lose things i value the most and she never notices it
she has me, a sister who would go to the ends of the earth to make her happy
but i don’t have the same, we could be in a near death situation and she wouldn’t care if i lived or died (which we have been in)
half of the reason i do so much for her is getting her to notice that she does care, to give any shits about me, but she doesn’t. she takes me for granted
for the most part, i am just very sad that i don’t have a sister that cares a bit.
it’s been so many years, am i not worth anything? i’m not worth caring for? i’m not even asking for her to show it a whole lot..just genuine care for a family member, that’s it really
i really don’t know what’s wrong with me, she is not good to me but i can’t bring myself to hurt her as much as she hurt me
i am going crazy trying to figure out what is wrong with me and why she is so mean to me all the time
